Rwanda
Igihe cyo gutandukana n’uwo mwashakanye
Bibaho cyane ko urukundo hagati y’umugabo n’umugore rushira aho muri mwe ashobora kumva ko icyamubera cyiza kikamuha amahoro ari gutandukana na mugenzi we.
Akenshi kubera umuco, igihugu cyangwa se umuryango umuntu akomokamo, usanga umugabo cyangwa umugore ashinyiriza akanga kwiha rubanda ntahite afata umwanzuro wo gutandukana na mugenzi. Ibi ariko nubwo akenshi abandi bantu batabimenya, nyir’ubwite iyo abibanye kenshi, bimugiraho ingaruka mbi, ku buryo byaba byiza gutandukana igihe ubona warihanganiye mugenzi wawe ariko ntahinduke.
Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ibintu 5 byatuma umuntu afata icyemezo cyo gutandukana n’umukunzi we aho guhatiriza urukundo rutakiriho:
Ibi bitekerezo byanjye binubakiye ku bushakashatsi bwashyizwe ahagaragara n’inzobere mu bujyanama bw’ingo, mu kigo cyitwa « consultations privées au sein de Love »
Bishobora kudafatwa kimwe ku bantu batandukanye kubera imyumvire, umuco,imyizerere,… ariko byagaragaye cyane ko muri sosiyete hari abantu bihambira ku bandi bakabana ariko badakundana kandi kubera kudatandukana neza bikazatera ingaurka zitari nziza.
Mukazayire Immaculée, umwanditsi w’iki gitekerezo
Ingero 5 zikwereka ko icyiza ari ugutandukana aho kwihambira kuri mugenzi wawe :
Igihe ibi bimaze igihe kinini cyane kandi bidahinduka…kandi ukabona atari ibintu biba byatunguranye, ahubwo biba byateguwe kugira ngo bikubabaze…Hari igihe ubona aho bigeze umubano mufitanye utagihari kandi ibi bikagenda byangiza buri wese gahoro gahoro,…Reba aho biba bigeze ko utandukana n’umukunzi wawe :
1. Chéri (e), Uri hehe? Uri gukora iki?
Hari abantu babana ariko batabonana, nta bikorwa bahuriraho, nta bucuti bafitanye, mbese ukabona bahura gake cyane gashoboka ndetse nta n’uburyo na bumwe bavuganamo ! Aha ni igihe usanga umwe yita mugenzi we cheri (e) kandi undi bitakimurimo bigasa nko kugosorera mu rucaca. Uyu mubano wanyu rero ntushobora kubeshaho urugo cyangwa umuryango rwose, ndetse hari n’abiyambaza abajyanama bikanga …ugasanga buri wese afite icye cyumba araramo ndetse ukabona nta n’umwe muri mwembi wifuriza mugenzi we icyiza.
2. Kwubahana ntibikibaho
Uwo mwashakanye asigaye akubwira amagambo asesereza gusa,cyangwa ukabona aragusuzugura, mbese atakikwubaha uko umeze, ahubwo akumva yaguhindura burundu, kuko atakinyuzwe nawe.( Kandi birashoboka ko nawe byagera aho ukumva ntukinyuzwe nawe). Ni ukuri ubwo si ubuzima bwo kubamo ! Buri umwe aba yica mugenzi we ahubwo aba abangamiye uburyo bwe bwo kubaho. Kuko ufata umwanya ukibuka ibihe byiza mwigeze kugirana ndetse ukibuka n’ibyo wamukoreye kandi wigomwe, ukumva birakurwaje. Ni byiza rwose ko mwashyira akadomo kuri ubu buzima, aho kugira ngo mukomeze kwibabaza. Ukeneye kubaho wishimye, na mugenzi wawe kandi ni uko. !
3. Nta kintu na kimwe mugihuriyeho
Uko ukomeza kwitaza mugenzi wawe, igihe kiragera ukaba kure cyane ye kandi byitwa ko mubana. Ugasanga buri wese agira imishinga ye, ukumva umwe nta mwanya akibonera mugenzi we, nta kintu na kimwe mukiganira ngo mucyumve kimwe,…Ugasanga nta kintu na kimwe ugisangira na mugenzi wawe, iki kiba ari igihe cyiza rwose cyo guhana amahoro.
4. Asigaye ubonerana
Birashoboka cyane ko uwo mwashakanye, musigaye mudahura na gake, ndetse yaba hari undi muntu runaka bahuye akumva aribyo bimunejeje kuruta uko yahura nawe. Ibyiza rero ni uguhana rugari. Kuko ibi byangiza cyane umuntu w’imbere nk’uko byagarustweho n’iyi nzobere.
5. Intonganya mu ruhame
Muhora mu ntonganya zidashira ? Ndetse ukabona aribwo buryo bwonyine musigaye muganiramo ? Ntimukimenya kuvugira hasi ahubwo buri gihe muvugira hejuru? Ndetse ukabona nta n’icyo mukora ngo ibi mubikemure ? Niba ibi bimaze imyaka, umubano wanyu ukwiye guhagarara, kuko umwe yamaze kuba umunyamahanga kui mugenzi we!
Ibi n’ubwo ariko bimeze bityo, ntabwo byoroshye na gato gufata umwanzuro wo gutandukana. Ariko ntuzagire ubwoba bwo gufata umwanzuro nk’uyu mu gihe bigaragara ko uri kubabara cyane.
Igihe umubano urangiye byanze bikunze wumva umubabaro, ariko icyiza cyabyo ntibimara igihe kinini.
Iyo birangiye, biba bimeze nk’ikiliyo. Utangira ubundi buzima burangwa n’amarangamutima utari umenyereye.
Rwanda
