kugira ngo ushimishe umugore wawe

[Rwanda]

Ibimenyetso byakwereka ko umukobwa agukunda

 

Gukunda no gukundwa ni ibintu byizana, kandi ntawe bitabaho muri iyi si dutuyeho, yaba ashaje cyangwa ari muto. Gusa ikigora ni ukumenya niba hari umuntu ukwitayeho cyangwa ugukunda, ngo mube mwahuza urugwiro, mu gihe nawe ukeneye kubona umukunzi.

Nubona rero ibimenyetso ku mukobwa wiyumvamo ntuzace ku ruhande uzahite umukura mu buribwe bw’urukundo maze nawe umukunde:

Inseko

Umukobwa yagukunze ntiyifuza kukubona ubabaye narimwe, bityo bigatuma yumva yakubwira amagambo agushimisha, kugira ngo akubone useka. Usanga kandi iyo yinjiye aho uri, murebana akamwenyura, ndetse kuburyo iyo munaganira acishamo agaseka ku tuntu tumwe na tumwe mubamuganira, ngo akwereke ko akwitayeho cyane.

Akunda kukureba cyane

Amaso burya ni igice cy’umubiri kidasanzwe, kuko gitanga ubutumwa bwinshi mu bwonko bw’umuntu. Mu gihe rero umukobwa azaba yagukunze azahora ashaka kukwitegereza, cyane cyane nkiyo umunyuzeho, iyo muri kumwe muganira, iyo mwahuriye nko mu birori, cyangwa ahandi hose hahuza abantu benshi. Cyane cyane nushaka kumureba uzabona ko muzajya mukunda guhuza amaso kenshi, agasa nkuwijijisha akareba hirya.

Ibimenyetso by’umubiri

Ibimenyetso by’umubiri bikunda kuvuga ibintu byinshi, ariko si abantu benshi bakunze kubisobanukirwa. Nubona umukobwa muhuye cyangwa yinjiye ahantu uri akakwicira akajisho atavuze, akagukubita agashyi, akagukora mu mugongo, akakwicara iruhande, n’ibindi byinshi, ujye umenya ko hari ikintu kidasanzwe arimo kukwereka.

Akunda kukuvuga

Mu byukuri nta mukobwa utagira ikigare (group), iyo bari kumwe rero bakunda kuganira ibintu byinshi, cyane cyane ntibashobora gutandukana batavuze ku ngingo y’abasore, baba incuti zabo cyangwa abo bakorana. Iyo bateruye icyo kiganiro rero, usanga umukobwa wagupfuye ahora agutanga ho ingero muri bagenzi be, icyo bavuze cyose akagisanisha nawe.

Azagusaba ko musohokana

Ushobora kuba wari inshuti n’umukobwa bisanzwe, mukorana , mwigana, cyangwa se hari ibindi bintubyinshi muhuriramo, byazagera aho, ukumva atangiye kujya agusaba ko mwasohoka mwenyine . mu byukuri aba ashaka ko hari icyo mwazaganiraho mwiherereye mutari muri rwaserera.

Azakoresha uko ashoboye kugirango aguhore iruhande

Burya iyo ukunda umuntu ubawunva mwahora muri kumwe cyane. Umukobwa rero iyo yakwikundiye, akoresha ibishoboka byose akajya aba ari aho nawe ukunda kujya, kandi mukaza kubonana. Urugero, nkiyo ukunda kujya kubyina, kureba umupira se, n’ahandi, usanga akunda kuhaza, kandi abacuti be bataha agasigarana nawe, mukavugana ho amagambo make gusa, akitahira.

Azakubwira ko akunda imico yawe

Umukobwa nakubwira ko yikundira imico yawe, mbese nk’ukuntu ugenda, useka, ijwi, ubwitonzi, kwambara se, n’utundi tuntu twinshi tukwerekeyeho, azaba akubwiye ko agukunda. Nibwo buryo bwe azaba akoresheje kugira ngo akwereke ko yagukunze.

Akwereka ko akwitayeho buri gihe
Burya umukobwa wagukunze, aba ashaka kukwereka ko ariwe muntu ukwitayeho kurusha abandi. Nkiyo murikumwe na bagenzi banyu, usanga akunganira mu bintu byose uvuga, bakubaza nk’ikibazo nawe akagushyigikira, wavuga ikintu akakunganira, kandi akagerageza kwereka abandi ko uvuze ibintu bifite akamaro.

Akunda kukugira Inama z’ubuzima

Niba umukobwa yarakubengutse uzajya wumva arimo kukugira inama z’ubuzima, akwereka icyo wakora ngo witeze imbere n’icyo utagomba gukora. Ibi kandi nta mwanya munini bizamutwara, kuko azabikubwira igihe muzaba muganira.

Aragufuhira

Gufuha ni ibintu bigirwa na benshi, cyane cyane iyo bakundana, kandi usanga umuntu ufuhira undi, aba amukunda koko by’ukuri. Iyo umukobwa rero mumaze kumenyerana, muganira bisanzwe, ushobora kutamenya ko yagukunze. Ariko nubona akunda kukubaza niba umukobwa runaka ari inshuti yawe, cyangwa akakubaza icyo upanga n’umukobwa yigeze kubabonana, uzamenye ko burya atabikunda, ahubwo aba ashaka ko ari we wenyine wakikundira.

[Rwanda]

gushaka ni icyemezo gikomeye umuntu afata mu buzima

Burya gushaka ni icyemezo gikomeye umuntu afata mu buzima. N’ubwo Bibiliya itubwira ngo umukobwa azata ababyeyi be ajye gushaka umugabo, ntago ari ibyaburi wese. Akenshi usanga icyi cyemezo gikunze guhubukirwa na benshi bitewe n’impamvu runaka zitari ngombwa, maze ugasanga nyuma y’igihe gito habayeho gutandukana. Umushakashatsi , akaba n’umuhanga mu imenyamuntu ndetse n’ubumenyi bwo mu mutwe, SRI George wo mu gihugu cya Nigeria yagaragaje zimwe mu mpamvu zishobora gutuma wibagirwa gushaka(…)

Burya gushaka ni icyemezo gikomeye umuntu afata mu buzima. N’ubwo Bibiliya itubwira ngo umukobwa azata ababyeyi be ajye gushaka umugabo, ntago ari ibyaburi wese. Akenshi usanga icyi cyemezo gikunze guhubukirwa na benshi bitewe n’impamvu runaka zitari ngombwa, maze ugasanga nyuma y’igihe gito habayeho gutandukana.

Umushakashatsi , akaba n’umuhanga mu imenyamuntu ndetse n’ubumenyi bwo mu mutwe, SRI George wo mu gihugu cya Nigeria yagaragaje zimwe mu mpamvu zishobora gutuma wibagirwa gushaka umugabo cyangwa umugore bitewe n’uko wowe urimo gutekereza. Dore zimwe muri Izo mpamvu:

Ntuzashake kuko ufite irari ry’igitsina. Ntuzashaka kuko ugejeje igihe. Ntuzashake kuko ubonye ko ujyiye gusaza. Ntuzashake kuko ubonye ko uri wenyine ukeneye undi muntu ukuba hafi. Ntuzashake kuko ukeneye umuntu ugufasha mu bijyanye n’umutungo Ntuzashake kuko wagize ibyago ugatwara inda niba uri umukobwa. Ntuzashake kuko udashaka kubura uwo wakundaga Ntuzashake kuko ubihatiwe n’ababyeyi bawe. Ntuzashake kuko ukunda icyo gitekerezo ndetse ugakunda kubona ubukwe bw’abashakanye. Ntuzashake kuko inshuti yawe nayo yashatse.

Aha ndakeka buri wese ahise yibaza igihe nyacyo cyo gushaka umugabo cyangwa umugore!! Wigira ubwoba igisubizo kirahari. Uyu mushakashatsi yatanze igihe nyacyo n’impamvu nyayo yo gushaka.

Yagize ati “ Shaka umugabo cyangwa umugore kuko umukunda kandi nawe agukunda ndetse mwese mwabitekerejeho ntawe ubihatiye undi. Ikindi kandi shaka umugabo cyangwa umugore ukunda Imana kuko ariyo izabashoboka kubana ubuziraherezo mwishimye.”

[Rwanda]

buri mugore atandukanye n'undi ndetse buri wese agira ibyo akunda bitandukanye n'iby'undi

Ni ukuri ko buri mugore atandukanye n’undi ndetse buri wese agira ibyo akunda bitandukanye n’iby’undi. Aha akaba ari ho ushobora kuvuga uti ese ibyo uvuga urabikura he? Ni gute wamenya ibyo abagore bose bakunda? Nyamara ibi biroroshye kuko abagore bose bakunda ibi bintu 2 gusa ngiye kugugezaho.

Abagore bose iyo bava bakagera bakunda ibi bintu 2: Imibonano ikozwe neza cyane ndetse bagakunda umugabo ushobora kubumva, aha sinshaka kuvuga kumva gusa ibyo bavugisha umunwa ahubwo ndashaka kuvuga kumwumva wese.

Kugirango ubashe gushimisha umugore wawe mu buriri dore ko ari na cyo kintu k’ingenzi cyane umugore aba yiteze ku mugabo we, ugomba kumenya kumva umugore wawe muri ubu buryo no gusoma ibi bikurikira:

Amaso ye: Amaso burya ni irembo ry’umutima. Amaso y’umugore ashobora kuvuga byinshi kuri iyi ngingo, kukwereka ko akwishimiye, ko akwifuza, ko ashaka ko wamukurikira ako kanya n’ibindi.

Impumeko ye: Aha abagabo benshi bazi icyo nshaka kuvuga. Ukurikije uko umugore ahumeka ushobora kumenya niba koko yishimiye akabariro, niba ukoze ahamushimisha, niba koko muri kumwe muri icyo gikorwa cyangwa se niba uri wenyine n’ibindi.

Uko agukoraho: Uko agenda akwiyegereza cyangwa se agushinga utwara mu mugongo ibi byose kugirango akwereke ko amerewe neza ndetse ko aryohewe n’ibyo uri kumukorera.

Uko ataka: N’ubwo abagore bamwe bitakisha kugirango bashimishe umugabo cyangwa se kugirango umugabo agire vuba abaveho, ugutaka k’umugore waryohewe urimo ubwira umugabo we ati: “Koremereza aho mugabo wanjye, wihagarara aho bimeze neza”… gutandukanye cyane n’ubyigirishwa. Bityo umugabo akaba akwiye kumenya kubitandukanya.

Igikorwa cyo gutera akabariro muri iyi minsi gisaba ko abakirimo bose bakora kandi bakunganirana gusa ibi ni nako byahoze uretse ko abagabo batakundaga kwita ku kwiga uburyo bushya bwabafasha gushimisha abagore babo dore ko bakekaga ko umugore ari we ugomba kubashimisha gusa. Nyamara muri iki gihe byarahindutse kuko iyo umugabo ananiwe gushimisha umugore we usanga uyu mugore afata iya mbere akajya guhiga undi mugabo wabasha kumushimisha uko abyifuza. Mugabo rero iki ni igihe cyo gutangira kwiga kumva no gusoma ururimi umugore wawe akoresha igihe muri muri iki gikorwa cyo gutera akabariro ibi bizagufasha kumugerera aho yifuza maze bitume mwembi mubana mu munyenga w’urukundo.

[Rwanda]

uzirinde gukora amakosa yo kurya ibi bintu Ujyiye K'unsabana

Niba wifuza ko rero igikorwa cyo gutera akabariro cyabagendekera neza mukaryoherwa kandi mukanyurwa uzirinde gukora amakosa yo kurya ibi bintu bikurikira mbere yo kwiha akabyizi:

Ibishyimbo

Ibishyimbo ni byo biza ku isonga mu bibangamira igikorwa cy’imibonano mpuzabistina cyane cyane iyo abantu babiriye ako kanya bagahita binjira muri icyo gikorwa kuko ibishyimbo biri mu biribwa birushya igifu mu igogorwa ryabyo,niyo mpamvu iyo umuntu akoresheje imbaraga amaze kurya ibishyimbo aba yangiza igifu,ndetse ashobora no kumva abababara mu nda maze bigatuma igikorwa kigenda nabi.

Shokora

Shokora na yo iza mu bintu bibangamira iki gikorwa cyane cyane zimwe ziba zijimye kuko ziba zigizwe na 70 ku ijana bya cocoa ituma umubiri usa nucitse intege umuntu akumva akeneye kuruhuka nta ntege afite,kuburyo iyo ahise akora imibonano mpuzabitsina aranananirwa cyane kandi uwo munaniro ukamutindamo.

Foromaje

Foromaje ni mbi cyane kuyirya mbere yo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kuko iyo igeze mu mubiri igabanya ubushake bwo kuyikora,ndetse uko umuntu amara umwanya niko aba agenda yumva azinukwa icyo gikorwa akumva ntacyo bimubwiye.

Soda ya Tonic

Iyi soda na yo si nziza kuyinywa mbere y’iki gikorwa kuko inganda nyinshi ziyikora zishyira quinine kandi ituma umuntu adakora imibonano mpuzabistsina neza cyangwa ngo yumve imushimishije.

Sosiso

Sosiso iri mu bintu bibujijwe kuko ibangamira imibonano mpuzabitsina kuko igabanya ubushake n’imbaraga zo kuyikora cyane cyane ku muntu wariye irenze imwe.

Ifiriti

Ifiriti na yo ni mbi kuyirya mbere yo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina, kuko iyo umuntu amaze kuyirya ako kanya umubiri we uba nta kibazo ufite ndetse aba afite imbaraga,ariko mu isaha imwe gusa umubiri uhita ucika intege,akabura imbaraga na nkeya mu mubiri niyo mpammvu nayo ibujijwe kuko ushobora kurangiza iki gikorwa nta ntege na nkeya usigaranye ukaba wanamera nk’umurwayi kuko nta mbaraga.

Ibi ni byo biribwa bibujijwe kurya mbere yo gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina kubera ingaruka twavuze haruguru. Ibyiza rero ni uko abagiye kuyikora bagomba kwirinda ibi biribwa nkuko urubuga foodsgn, dukesha iyi nkuru rubisobanura. Kuko usanga imibonano idakozwe neza ishobora kuba intandaro y’ubwumvikane buke hagati y’abashakanye.

[Rwanda]

iyo urukundo rwenda kurangira, mutangira kugirana amakimbirane ku buryo umwe atangira kubona amafuti cyangwa se inenge kuri mugenzi we

Ubundi urukundo ruri mu marembera /amanegeka runyura muri izi ntambwe(steps) 5 zikurikira:

1) Ubundi iyo urukundo rwenda kurangira, mutangira kugirana amakimbirane ku buryo umwe atangira kubona amafuti cyangwa se inenge kuri mugenzi we (tumoil or stagnation stage).

2) Iyo utangiye kumubonamo amafuti, ni cya gihe wumva akuri kure mu bitekerezo (emotional and psychological distance). Ubwo utangira kumva ko kubaho kwawe atari ngombwa ko akuba hafi (de-intensification stage).

3) Noneho utangira kumva ko kubaho wenyine ari byo biguha amahoro cyangwa se bigushimisha, ndetse n’ibiganiro byanyu bigatangira kugira umupaka kandi ingingo nyinshi yakugishagaho inama agatangira kuzibonera ibisubizo atabanje kukubaza nka mbere (you define your lives more as individual than a couple). Uru rwego ni rwo rwitwa “individualization stage”.

4) Nyuma y’ibyo afata umwanzuro wo guhagarika ibiganiro ku buryo ushobora no kumuhamagara akanga kukwitaba yanakwitaba ukumva atakwitayeho cyangwa se wamwoherereza ubutumwa bugufi ntagusubize (separation stage).

5) Ibyo iyo birangiye hakurikiraho ibimenyetso n’ingaruka zo gutandukana. Ibiganiro byanyu bihindura umurongo mukazajya muganira bisanzwe. Kandi iyo hagize umukubazaho avuga ko ibyawe atabizi (post-interaction stage).

Nizeye ko ubonye ibimenyetso by‘urukundo ruri mu marembera. Gusa niba mu byo turangije kurondora hari ibyakubayeho ntiwihebe ngo urukundo rushobora kugera ku ntambwe runaka yo gusenyuka, ariko nyuma rukaza kuzongera kwiyubaka.

[Rwanda]

Igihe cyo gutandukana n’uwo mwashakanye

Bibaho cyane ko urukundo hagati y’umugabo n’umugore rushira aho muri mwe ashobora kumva  ko icyamubera cyiza kikamuha amahoro ari gutandukana na mugenzi we.

Akenshi kubera umuco, igihugu cyangwa se umuryango umuntu akomokamo, usanga umugabo cyangwa umugore ashinyiriza akanga kwiha rubanda ntahite afata umwanzuro wo gutandukana na mugenzi. Ibi ariko nubwo akenshi abandi bantu batabimenya, nyir’ubwite iyo abibanye kenshi, bimugiraho ingaruka mbi, ku buryo byaba  byiza gutandukana igihe ubona warihanganiye mugenzi wawe ariko ntahinduke.

Ubushakashatsi bwagaragaje ibintu 5 byatuma umuntu afata icyemezo cyo gutandukana n’umukunzi we aho guhatiriza urukundo rutakiriho:

Ibi bitekerezo byanjye binubakiye ku bushakashatsi bwashyizwe ahagaragara n’inzobere mu bujyanama bw’ingo, mu kigo cyitwa « consultations privées au sein de Love »

Bishobora kudafatwa kimwe ku bantu batandukanye kubera imyumvire, umuco,imyizerere,… ariko byagaragaye cyane ko muri sosiyete hari abantu bihambira ku bandi bakabana ariko badakundana kandi kubera kudatandukana neza bikazatera ingaurka zitari nziza.

Mukazayire Immaculée, umwanditsi w’iki gitekerezo
Ingero 5 zikwereka ko icyiza ari ugutandukana aho kwihambira kuri mugenzi wawe :

Igihe ibi bimaze igihe kinini cyane kandi bidahinduka…kandi ukabona atari ibintu biba byatunguranye, ahubwo biba byateguwe kugira ngo bikubabaze…Hari igihe ubona aho bigeze umubano mufitanye utagihari kandi ibi bikagenda byangiza buri wese gahoro gahoro,…Reba aho biba bigeze ko utandukana n’umukunzi wawe :

1. Chéri (e), Uri hehe? Uri gukora iki?

Hari abantu babana ariko batabonana, nta bikorwa bahuriraho, nta bucuti bafitanye, mbese ukabona bahura gake cyane gashoboka ndetse nta n’uburyo na bumwe bavuganamo ! Aha ni igihe usanga umwe yita mugenzi we cheri (e) kandi undi bitakimurimo bigasa nko kugosorera mu rucaca. Uyu mubano wanyu rero ntushobora kubeshaho urugo cyangwa umuryango rwose, ndetse hari n’abiyambaza abajyanama bikanga …ugasanga buri wese afite icye cyumba araramo ndetse ukabona nta n’umwe muri mwembi wifuriza mugenzi we icyiza.

2. Kwubahana ntibikibaho

Uwo mwashakanye asigaye akubwira amagambo asesereza gusa,cyangwa ukabona aragusuzugura, mbese atakikwubaha uko umeze, ahubwo akumva yaguhindura burundu, kuko atakinyuzwe nawe.( Kandi birashoboka ko nawe byagera aho ukumva ntukinyuzwe nawe). Ni ukuri ubwo si ubuzima bwo kubamo ! Buri umwe aba yica mugenzi we ahubwo aba abangamiye uburyo bwe bwo kubaho. Kuko ufata umwanya ukibuka ibihe byiza mwigeze kugirana ndetse ukibuka n’ibyo wamukoreye kandi wigomwe, ukumva birakurwaje. Ni byiza rwose ko mwashyira akadomo kuri ubu buzima, aho kugira ngo mukomeze kwibabaza. Ukeneye kubaho wishimye, na mugenzi wawe kandi ni uko. !

3. Nta kintu na kimwe mugihuriyeho

Uko ukomeza kwitaza mugenzi wawe, igihe kiragera ukaba kure cyane ye kandi byitwa ko mubana. Ugasanga buri wese agira imishinga ye, ukumva umwe nta mwanya akibonera mugenzi we, nta kintu na kimwe mukiganira ngo mucyumve kimwe,…Ugasanga nta kintu na kimwe ugisangira na mugenzi wawe, iki kiba ari igihe cyiza rwose cyo guhana amahoro.

4. Asigaye ubonerana

Birashoboka cyane ko uwo mwashakanye, musigaye mudahura na gake, ndetse yaba hari undi muntu runaka bahuye akumva aribyo bimunejeje kuruta uko yahura nawe. Ibyiza rero ni uguhana rugari. Kuko ibi byangiza cyane umuntu w’imbere nk’uko byagarustweho n’iyi nzobere.

5. Intonganya mu ruhame

Muhora mu ntonganya zidashira ? Ndetse ukabona aribwo buryo bwonyine musigaye muganiramo ? Ntimukimenya kuvugira hasi ahubwo buri gihe muvugira hejuru? Ndetse ukabona nta n’icyo mukora ngo ibi mubikemure ? Niba ibi bimaze imyaka, umubano wanyu ukwiye guhagarara, kuko umwe yamaze kuba umunyamahanga kui mugenzi we!

Ibi n’ubwo ariko bimeze bityo, ntabwo byoroshye na gato gufata umwanzuro wo gutandukana. Ariko ntuzagire ubwoba bwo gufata umwanzuro nk’uyu mu gihe bigaragara ko uri kubabara cyane.

Igihe umubano urangiye byanze bikunze wumva umubabaro, ariko icyiza cyabyo ntibimara igihe kinini.

Iyo birangiye, biba bimeze nk’ikiliyo. Utangira ubundi buzima burangwa n’amarangamutima utari umenyereye.

[Rwanda]

NiBa ukeneye kubaka urugo rurangwamo umunezero uririnde umukobwa wikunda byo gukabya

Murumuna wanjye nkunda, dore urakuze ugeze igihe cyo gushaka umugore ariko ntega amatwi nguhanure ndi mukuru wawe, hato utazagwa mu ruzi urwita ikiziba. N’ubwo twese tuzi ko nta muntu utunganye bivuze ko ari wowe ari nanjye nta malayika uturimo, hari ingeso zimwe na zimwe ushobora kwirengagiza ku mukobwa wahitamo ngo murwubakane kubera uburanga bwe cyangwa ibindi nyuma bikazakugaruka nabi, niyo mpamvu nka mukuru wawe nkwandikiye kugirango ngire ibyo nkugiraho inama ngo ejo utazicuza. Muri iyi baruwa, ndashaka kukwereka ingeso 10 udakwiye kuzihanganira na rimwe ku mukobwa uzatekereza ko mwashakana mukubaka.

Muri aba bakobwa bose, uzitondere kurushaho uwa 3, uwa 4 n’uwa 10 kuko ni babi kurusha abandi bose. Aba utabitondeye, n’iyo mutashakaga gutindana nabo ubwabyo byakuzanira akaga.

1. NYIRAMAHANE: Uzi wa mukobwa uhora arakaye, umwe uhora avugisha ab’igitsina gabo nabi? Burya nt akabura imvano mwana wa mama, ushobora gusanga aba yarababajwe kenshi n’abandi bahungu. Umukobwa nk’uwo mujinya we uba ufite ishingiro, uzumve ko hari igihe na kimwe ashobora kuvuga abagabo neza, buri gihe cyose abavuga nabi kuko niko abazi. Bishobora kuba atari ukubabazwa n’abahungu benshi mu rukundo ariko ugasanga na se atarigeze yita kuri nyina, bikaba ari byo byamuteye umujinya ku bantu b’igitsina gabo muri rusange. Ntabwo ukeneye bene uyu mukobwa kuko igihe bizabaho ukagira icyo umubabazaho n’iyo waba utabigambiriye, uzitegure ko azagushyiraho amakosa yose azi ku bantu b’igitsina gabo bose kandi ntuzanabasha kubikemura kuko utazigera umenya n’icyo ugomba gusabira imbabazi.

2. NYIRAKWIKUNDA: NiBa ukeneye kubaka urugo rurangwamo umunezero uririnde umukobwa wikunda byo gukabya, umunezero uzanwa n’uko mwembi muwifurizanya kandi hamwe ukora ibishoboka byose ngo mugenzi wawe nawe anezerwe. Umukobwa wikunda cyane ahora ashaka kunezezwa kandi ntabwo yumva ko nawe afite inshingano yo kwita ku munezero w’abandi. Umukobwa uhora ashaka kuba uwa mbere muri byose, umwe uzakubwira inkuru z’umunsi we w’amavuko gatatu kugira ngo uwumenye atarakubaza uwawe, ntabwo azigera aguha urugo rurangwamo umunezero.

3. NYIRANKUNDIBINTU: Mwana wa mama uragendere kure y’umukobwa ukunda ibintu cyane. Niba iyo atari kuvuga imodoka ya kanaka aba ari kuvuga telefone yabonye aha n’aha cyangwa akaba arimo kuvuga ikanzu runaka yambaye cyangwa isakoshi igezweho, uramenye rwose ubishoboye ntuzigere unafata izina rye mu mutwe. Umukobwa muhura buri gihe ukumva ikimushishikaje cyane ni ibintu nk’ibyo nushakana na we ntuzagirengo sinakubwiye.

4. NYIRANKUNDABOSE: Waba ukururwa na wa mukobwa usekera buri mugabo wese? Umwe mbese umeze nk’akanyugunyugu uvugana na buri mugabo wese akagenda atekereza ko yamukunze? Mwana wa mama uramenye rwose kuko burya ingeso ishira ari uko nyirayo yapfuye kandi ndabizi ko bitazagushimisha kumenya ko umugore wawe yirirwa akururukana n’abagabo bose muturanye, abiganye na we, abo bamenyaniye mu kazi n’ahandi bose akumva yabagira abe.

5. MUKUNDABIRORI: Ikizakubwira Mukundabirori, nta kirori aba atatumiwemo kandi ntacyo ajya asiba n’iyo yaba atameze neza, ahora yambaye imyenda igezweho ijyanye na buri kirori umubonye wese ntashidikanye ko ari umunyamugi. Iyo atari kuvuga uko ikirori cy’ubushize cyagenze aba avuga ibizabera mu kirori gitaha. Mbese wa wundi uhora afite ubwoko bw’ibirori bidashira, ngaho ni anniversaire, baby shower, bridal shower cyangwa house party agomba kwitabira. Ntuzatekereze ko bene uwo mukobwa azatuza ngo ni uko yubatse, azakomeza gutyo kandi bene uwo mwubakanye yarugusenyeraho rubanda bamureba bakabona ni umunyarugwiro ndetse ahubwo mwagirana ikibazo bakavuga ko ari wowe udashobotse.

6. NYIRAMPABWABYOSE: Umukobwa wakuze ahabwa ibintu byose ashaka, yaba abikeneye cyangwa atabikeneye, umwe utarigeze agira icyo avunikira cyangwa ikindi kintu kimusaba kwitanga ngo akigereho ntashobora kukubera umugore mwiza. N’ubwo waba utekereza ko ushobora kumuha ubuzima nk’ubwo yari asanzwe afite iwabo, ugomba kwibuka ko kubaka bizana abana kandi abana basaba ubwitange ndetse no kwemera kuvunika. Kubaka urugo ubwabyo ni ukwiyemeza kuvunika no guhangayikira ahazaza h’umuryango. Umukobwa utarigeze agira icyo yitangaho cyangwa ngo ashimishwe n’ibyo yavunikiye mu buzima bwe mutarabana ntabwo azabyigira iwawe.

7. NYIRANSHAKACARE: N’ubwo ari ibisanzwe ko abakobwa n’abagore bakunda kwitabwaho bimwe ab’ubu mwita “Care”, umukobwa ushaka kwitabwaho cyane ntabwo ashobora kubaka ngo rukomere. Umugabo mwiza yita ku mugore we uko ashoboye ariko ntabwo bishoboka ko yabikora buri gihe cyose, umugore muzima agomba kumenya ko umugabo we amukunda kandi ko amwitaho n’iyo yaba atari kumwe nawe. Umukobwa udashaka ko ugira akanya n’inshuti zawe cyangwa abavandimwe bawe kuko buri gihe utari kukazi aba ashaka ko uba iruhande rwe cyangwa umwe ushaka ko muba muri kumwe ahantu hose igihe cyose ntabwo ashobora kukubera umugore mwiza kuko igihe bitazashoboka ko muba muri kumwe azumva ko urimo kumuca inyuma cyangwa gukora ayandi mabi. Hari n’abakabya noneho n’akazi akumva ukabya, akagucyurira ko ukamurutisha, ko ugakunda cyane ukwiye kugabanya na we ukajya umwirebera, uyu uzamwitondere kuko umunsi wamuhinguka imbere umubwira za “Ndagukunda” yaburaye yagukuramo iyo kotsa.

8. NYIRAMAGAMBO: Mbese umukobwa wabengutswe yaba ashishikazwa n’iby’abandi kurusha ibimureba? Yaba se ari wa mukobwa usanga iyo atari kuvuga uko ba kanaka babayeho aba arimo kuvuga icyo kanaka atunze cyangwa araye akora? Umwe mbese uvuga abitwara nabi, abo abona ari abaturage badasobanutse n’ibindi nk’ibyo yibanda cyane ku buzima n’imibereho by’abandi… Uramenye rwose ntabwo ukeneye bene uyu mukobwa kana ka mama, uyu ntiyazakubera umugore muzima. Kubaka bisaba kwita ku bikureba, mukajya inama ndetse mukiha n’intego. Niba mugenzi wawe ashishikazwa n’iby’abandi kurusha ibibareba ubwanyu umenye ko utazigera utsinda intambara urimo kurwana.

9. NYIRANTACYONIYEMEZA:Umukobwa udashobora kugira ikintu na kimwe yiyemeza ngo abe aricyo akora cyangwa yiga, umwe usanga ahora ashaka ikintu gishya yahugiramo, utangira ikintu bitamaze kabiri akagishingukamo, uwo ntabwo yakwiyemeza kubaka ntuzigere utakaza igihe cyawe kuri bene uyu mukobwa. Erega uwo ntafatika utamwitondeye wazashiduka na we akuvuyeho, ibye uba usanga bidafite gahunda ihamye.

10. NYIRAGASHIZISONI: Niba buri gihe umukobwa ukunda ahora avuga nabi ndetse agashira isoni ku bantu n’iyo baba ari abo atekereza ko bari munsi ye, ntuzirirwe unamutekerezaho rwose. Wibuke ko umugore rubanda babona ari mwiza ari ugwa neza, umwe wubaha abantu rubanda bakajya bavuga bati kanaka niwe ufite umugore abandi barabeshya. Uwo mukobwa usuzugura gutyo, nimubana burya nawe ntuzagirengo kugusuzugura akakuraba nk’icyo imbwa ihaze bizamugora.

Ndibaza ko nagerageje kukunyuriramo muri macye uko mbitekereza, ahasigaye n’i ahawe mwana wa mama uzitonde kandi ufate akanya kawe witegereze neza unasenge kuko umugore mwiza umuntu amuhabwa n’ Imana, ariko kandi Imana yanaguhaye ubwenge ngo ujye ubukoresha mu gushishoza umenye icyiza n’ikibi.

Yari mukuru wawe ugukunda cyane!

[Rwanda]

impamvu ifatika yo kuba abakundana batandukana

Iyo bibaye ngombwa ko haboneka impamvu ifatika yo kuba abakundana batandukana, akenshi usanga abantu bavuga ko nta we ukwiye kwivanga mu byabo, kuko baba bakeka ko bashobora no kongera gusubirana, kuko kenshi na kenshi usanga abo bantu baba batazi uko bakwitwara nyuma yo gutandukana ku buryo bizabafasha guhama ku mwanzuro baba baratoye, dore ko rimwe na rimwe uba ari na ngombwa.

Rero mu rwego rwo kugirango utazajya uhora muri mvuye kuri uyu ngiye kuri uyu, gerageza gukurikiza izi nama zitangwa n’urubuga rwa quickea¬syfit.com, ubundi bigufashe kuguma ku mwanzuro wiyemeje.

1. Itondere kunva inama z’inshuti wasimbuje uwo mwari mukundanye: Urasabwa kwizera uwo mukundanye nyuma yo gutana n’uwa mbere, muri byose ariko witondere inama zerekeranye n’uko wakwitwara ku wo yasimbuye , twavuga nko kukubwira ngo umuhamagare umutetereza, cyangwa ngo muhure umuratira uwamusimbuye.

2. Irinde ikintu cyose gishobora kuba cyaguhuza n’uwo mwatandukanye: Mu gihe cyose wumva utarakira igikomere gitewe n’icyabatandukanije, irinde icyabahuza cyose usiba nimero ye ya telephone, email n’izindi nzira zisa n’izi zishobora kubahuza.

3. Niba hari undi mwari mwaratandukanye mbere y’uko ubana n’uyu mutandukanye, nawe komeza
umwirinde: Abantu benshi bakunda guhita bagarukira uwo bari baratandukanye na we nyuma yo gutandukana n’uwo bari barabasimbuje, nyamara umuntu aba asabwa kubirinda bose agatumbira imbere aho gusubira mu byahise.

4. Irinde kurya ibintu bikungahaye ku binure: Ibiribwa bikungahaye ku binure bituma umubiri w’umuntu ugubwa neza bikamutera kwifuza gukora imibonano mpuzabitsina cyane, bityo bikaba byagutera gutekereza cyane uwo mwatandukanye wenda mwigeze no kuryamana, bikaba byagutera gushaka uko wamwigarurira wenda mukongera.

5. Irinde ibyo uwo mwatandukanye yatangaje ku mbuga zihurirwaho n’abantu benshi: Niba hari ibyo yatangaje kumbuga nka facebook,t witter …wibisoma, wigira icyo wandikaho cyangwa ngo ube wareba n’amafoto yaba yashyizeho kuko ibi byose biba bishobora kugukurura mu gihe
utaramenyera.

6. Witekereza ko gutandukana na we bizagushyira mu kaga: Niba bibaye ngombwa ko utandukana n’uwo mwabanaga cyangwa wikunva ko habaye ikintu kidasanzwe kuko ibi nabyo ni bimwe mu bigomba kuranga imibanire y’abantu kuko ntabatana batarabanye, ahubwo haranira kunva ko ibyiza biri imbere.

7. Irinde kugerageza abantu bose: Niba bibaye ngombwa ko haboneka impamvu igutandukanya n’umukunzi wawe, reka kumva ko abantu bose bashobora kuba bateye nk’uko uyu ateye kuburyo byanakwicira imibanire yawe n’abandi bantu bose.

[Rwanda]

MISS RWANDA 2018

Kuri iki Cyumweru tariki 14 Mutarama 2018, Igikorwa cyo kujonjora abakobwa bazahagararira Intara zabo mu irushanwa rya Nyampinga w’u Rwanda kiri kubera mu karere ka Rubavu ahagiye gutoranywa abakobwa batandatu bazaserukira iyi Ntara muri iri rushanwa rya Miss Rwanda 2018.

Nk’uko byagenze mu Ntara y’Amajyaruguru ari nayo yabimburiye izindi ntara muri aya marushanwa, uyu munsi Intara y’Uburengerazuba niyo itahiwe aho iki gikorwa kigiye gutangira kugeza ubu abakobwa biyandikishije bakaba baje kugaragaza ubwiza, ubuhanga ndetse n’umuco ari nabyo bigenderwaho ahanini muri iri rushanwa.

Ku isaha ya 1;50 Igikorwa cyo gutoranya abakobwa bujuje ibisabwa aho mu bakobwa 10 bari bariyandikishije muri iyi Ntara y’Uburengerazuba haje 8 nabo bakaba bamaze kwereka abashinzwe kureba niba koko bujuje ibisabwa aho muri aba umwe atujuje ibisabwa bivuze ko abakobwa 7 aribo bagiye gutoranywamo batandatu bazahagararira iyi Ntara.

Abakobwa babanza kwerekana ko bujuje ibisabwa birimo; Kugaragaza niba bujuje imyaka isabwa, Uburebure ndetse n’ibiro

Nyuma yo kugaragaza ko bujuje ibisabwa mu bakobwa 8 bari baje umwe muri bo ntabwo yakomeje bivuze ko 7 aribo bari buze guhatana hakarebwamo abo akanama nkemurampaka karagirira icyizere

Abemerewe kurushanwa ni

Neema Nina , afite ibiro 54 na metero 1.71

Uwase Fiona , afite ibiro 55 na metero 1.70

Umukundwa Divine, afite ibiro 77 na metero 1.78

Iradukunda Liliane, afite ibiro 57 na metero 1.70

Uwimbabazi Alliance, afite ibiro 60 na metero 1.70

Gacukuzi Belyse , afite ibiro 54 na metero 1.70

Isimbi Chanelle , afite ibiro 60 na metero 1.75

Iyi ni ifoto igaragaza abakobwa 8 bagiye guhatanira guhagararira Intara y’Uburasirazuba muri Miss Rwanda 2018

UWIMBABAZI Alliance (No 1)

GACUKUZI Belyse (No 2)

NEEMA Nina (No 3)

IRADUKUNDA Liliane (No 4)

ISIMBI Shanelle (No 5)

UWASE Fiona (No 6)

UMUKUNDWA Divine (No 7)

Update: Saa 3:04, Abakobwa bose uko ari barindwi batangiye kwiyerekana imbere y’abagize akanama nkemurampaka aho batangiye kubazwa ibibazo bitandukanye

Abagize akanama nkemurampaka

Ubanje ni Uwimbabazi Alliance ukomoka mu karere ka Rubavu, aho abajijwe ikintu yumva muri aka karere ka Rubavu gishobora gukurura abantu badasanzwe bahazi

Yavuze ko bafite ikivu n’ibindi byinshi byakurura abakerarugendo, Alliance kandi yabajijwe niba azi koga avuga ko abizi, abajijwe niba yiteguye kwambara bikini naramuka agiye guhagararira u Rwanda avuga ko nta kibazo

Ukurikiyeho ni umukobwa witwa Gacukuzi Belyse aho we avuze ko akomoka mu karere ka Kicukiro, uyu we abajijwe icyo azakora naramuka atabaye Nyampinga asubiza avuga ko icyo yifuza ari ukuba Miss w’u Rwanda kugira ngo azabashe gushyira mu bikorwa umushinga we uko abyifuza

#Neema Nina w’imyaka 20 yavuze ko yiga muri kaminuza ya Kigali, we yabajijwe umuntu afata nk’ikitegererezo avuga ko afata Papa we nk’ikitegererezo abajijwe impamvu agira ati ‘Papa ni umuntu unyubaka kandi ndamukunda cyane kuko uwo ndi uku niwe ungira we kandi amba hafi cyane’

Yabajijwe cyane uwamuhahitishamo hagati ya Maman we na Papa we agira ati ‘Nahitamo bose’ barongera baramubaza bati wahitamo inde uramutse ufite amahitamo amwe ? agira ati ‘Nahitamo bose guhitamo umwe ntabwo byashoboka’

#Iradukunda Liliane, uyu we yabajijwe ku kijyanye na Made In Rwanda avuga ko kuri we yumva ari nk’uburyo bwo gukunda ibikorerwa mu Rwanda.

Yabajijwe kandi ku rubyiruko rutishimira kuba mu Rwanda, yavuze ko kujya hanze y’igihugu wibwira ko ariho hari ejo hazaza heza atabibashishikariza kuko mu Rwanda ariho hari ejo hazaza heza

#Isimbi Chanella, w’imyaka 18 yarangije amashuri yisumbuye umwaka ushize wa 2017, yavuze ko yavuye mu itorero aho yatojwe byinshi bijyanye no kuba yakora ibintu ku gihe, kubaha, gukunda igihugu no kubana neza na bagenzi be

#Uwase Fiona, ufite inkomoko k’Umwami Kigeri Ndabarasa yavuze ko avuga ko atuye ku Gisozi akaba ari imfura mu bana bane bo mu muryango we ndetse akaba afite ababyeyi bombi

Uyu yavuze ko naramuka abaye Nyampinga w’u Rwanda yifuza kwimakaza umuco ikindi yavuze ko uwamugira umuyobozi mukuru yashyiraho isomo ry’umuco mu mashuri abanyeshuri bakajya biga umuco Nyarwanda.

# Umukundwa Divine, w’I Nyamirambo yabajijwe niba koko I Nyamirambo abantu batajya baryama ati ‘I Nyamirambo harashyushye ariko bararyama’

Abajijwe iby’uko umukobwa w’Inyamirambo aba adasanzwe cyangwa atoroshye aravuga ati burya umwana aba afite ababyeyi kandi abasha kububaha nange rero mbona abakobwa b’i Nyamirambo bababeshyera

Update: Ku isaha ya saa 3:56, Abagize akanama nkemurampaka bagiye mu kiruhuko aho bagiye kwiherera bakabarura amajwi buri mukobwa umwe yagiye agira nyuma baraza batangaza amazina y’abatsinze ari nabo barakomeza bakazahagararira Intara y’Uburengerazuba.

Update: Saa 4:35 nibwo hakurikiyeho igikorwa cyo kuvuga ibyavuye mu mwiherero w’abagize akanama nkemurampaka aho Sandrine Isheja uhagarariye akanama nkemurampaka ahawe ijambo akavuga ko ibyo bagendeyeho batanga amanota ari Uburanga bw’inyuma, ubwenge, ndetse n’umuco aho yavuze ko aba bakobwa bose babyujuje ndetse ari ba Nyampinga ariko nk’uko biba bigomba kugenda mu marushanwa yose hagomba kubonekamo utsinda

Abakobwa bagiye guhagararira Intara y’Uburengerazuba

Uwimbabazi Alliance, numero 1

Iradukunda Liliane, numero 4

Neema Nina, numero 3

Isimbi Chanella numero 5

Uwase Fiona, numero 6

Gacukuzi Belyse, numero 2

Iri rushanwa riteganyijwe kuzakomeza tariki 20 Mutarama 2018, aho mu i Huye mu Ntara y’Amajyepfo nabo bazaba bahatana hagatoranywamo abakobwa batandatu bazahagararira iyi Ntara muri iri rushanwa rya Miss Rwanda 2018

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